Tantrum or Meltdown?
Katelyn Hall • April 28, 2025
Understanding the Heart Behind Big Emotions.
As parents and caregivers, it can be hard — and sometimes overwhelming — to know how to respond when a child is upset. One of the biggest challenges is figuring out whether you're dealing with a tantrum or a meltdown.
While they may look similar on the outside, how you respond can make all the difference in helping your child feel safe, heard, and supported.
Here’s a simple tip to help you tell the difference:
Quick Test:
Give your child a totally random task or command — something like,
"Can you clap your hands for me?" or
"Can you pick up the red toy?"
If your child can pause, attend to the task, and follow through, they are likely in a tantrum.
If your child cannot acknowledge you at all, unable to respond or even recognize the request, they are likely experiencing a meltdown.
If It's a Tantrum: Provide More Structure
A tantrum is often about gaining control, attention, or avoiding something. When a child is still able to respond and make choices, what they most need is clear structure and calm boundaries.
Gently but firmly guide them toward appropriate behaviors, and remain consistent.
Children feel safest when they know someone is steadily leading them, even when their emotions are big.
If It's a Meltdown: Offer Only Comfort and Nurture
A meltdown, on the other hand, is not about control — it’s about overwhelm.
When a child's brain is flooded with emotions and sensory overload, they cannot process commands or expectations. In those moments, comfort, safety, and nurture are the only things that help.
Sit close. Speak softly. Let them know they are not alone. Your calm presence will help regulate their emotional storm.
Why It Matters
Knowing whether your child is in a tantrum or meltdown allows you to meet their real need in the moment — either structure or compassion.
Both responses are rooted in love — and both help build trust, resilience, and belonging.
Remember, your steady presence is the anchor in their biggest emotions.
You are teaching them, over time, that no feeling is too big for love to hold.
Today, we are thrilled to celebrate the Wilkerson family as they officially welcome two sweet four-year-old twin boys into their forever home! These energetic brothers, full of personality and heart, have found a place where they are loved, guided, and truly belong. The older twin is the leader of the pair, often talking his brother into playful mischief. Together, they share a love for music, instruments, and spending time outdoors — filling their days with laughter, adventure, and plenty of joyful noise! The Wilkersons shared a glimpse into their journey: "These boys needed a family to take care of them because their parents could not. Even though we were in our late 60’s, we knew they needed us." Their story is a powerful reminder that family isn't defined by age, circumstances, or perfect timing — it's defined by love, willingness, and belonging. Though the boys can certainly be a handful (as all lively four-year-olds can be!), the Wilkersons say: "They are such a joy to us, and we love them so very much. We could not imagine life without these two." The journey to adoption is rarely easy — it is filled with twists, challenges, and a great deal of heartache. But as the Wilkerson family's story shows, it can truly transform a child's life... and just as often, the lives of those who open their hearts to say yes. Please join us in congratulating the Wilkerson family on their beautiful journey to forever!
After three years of building memories, growing together, and navigating the challenges of the foster care journey, these dynamic brothers are now officially part of the Jordan family!
Where tiny hands and big hearts meet — belonging begins.
